[Ah. Byleth's frustration punched through despite his best attempts. He looked away abruptly, taking that brief pause to recollect himself. In the span of two (figurative) heartbeats, he was back to being blank-faced and placid.]
...in that example, the negative feeling serves no purpose, and in fact are dangerous to indulge in. Surely you've felt the same at some point?
[No dodging, no deflections, but no elaboration, either: just a simple answer of the truth. He tilts his head slightly and regards Byleth with a small smile, though, as if remembering something.]
Even so, I felt better not when I denied those feelings, but when I knew I had people I could rely on to ease those burdens. No one can do everything alone, no matter how strong you are.
[Byleth had expected Claude to do one of his sneaky verbal sidesteps and derail the conversation into another topic, not actually reply honestly. He blinked, visibly caught off-guard.]
...
[And... Claude was right, of course. Jeralt himself had even told him that no man was an island, no matter how much they may wish it, and in theory, Byleth agreed. Even a roaming mercenary had to rely on others from time to time - their clients to pay them, the shopkeepers to sell to them, their fellow mercenaries watching their backs in combat, even if their alliance was temporarily bought by coin. Byleth wasn't exempt from this. He relied on people to survive as well.
But applying that thinking to emotional vulnerability made Byleth want to curl up under the table with Clauddles. It was the same, yet not. Frustratingly, he had no words.]
I know. [He actually sounded tired when he murmured this.] I know that.
[...]
Claude. The truth is, I don't know what my feelings are. I don't know where to begin in... understanding them, and I won't ask you to teach me either. You have heavy enough burdens to carry.
I cherish all the time we spend together. All you need to do is learn things little by little, at your own pace. There's no need to force anything, and I don't need to teach you a thing. All that you need to know is right there. [He points at him; more specifically, to his chest. Beating heart or not, he has faith he'll figure things out.]
[Byleth had one of those indescribable emotions again, one that felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable, but not in a negative way. It was like when Dimitri had spoken so earnestly to him at the Meridian gathering - where he'd been pleased at his words yet had also wanted to crawl into a hole and bury himself in there. Claude was exhibiting that same earnestness, and it made...
...'squirmy', was the only word he could think of. Claude made him feel squirmy.
Yet, he was distracted from the sweet moment when Claude finished his kind speech by pointing at him. He obligingly looked down, identifying where Claude's finger was pointed towards and... blinked.]
...with Clauddles?
[The plushie was tall enough that its head was just shy of heart-level, an unintentional glancing shot of the metaphorical point Claude was trying to make.]
[Claude lets out a laugh, for once a genuine sound and not feigned amusement.]
You know what, you're probably right. The Golden Deer is a very old guardian, so I bet he's very wise, too. Unfortunately, he's also on the quiet and cryptic side, as you may have already noticed, so you'll just have to decipher his secrets.
[Maybe that's what he gets for naming it after Claude...]
[Claude's laugh cut through the tension, and Byleth felt his shoulders drop from the defensive hunch he hadn't realised he'd been half-curled into. The moment - whatever that moment had been - was broken, and it was something of a relief.
Still, what a nice laugh. Byleth wished he did it more often.]
I see. Unfortunately, I'm somewhat inexperienced in deciphering the cryptic silence of ancient guardians, so perhaps he'll share his wisdom if I ask nicely?
[With that, Byleth picked up Clauddles and sat the deer plushie on the edge of the table, gazing solemnly at it. Clauddles stared back with its wide, vacant eyes.]
Clauddles. [Yes. He's talking to the deer.] I have a very important question: what is Claude's favourite cake?
[The plush, of course, maintains its enigmatic silence no matter how long Byleth gazes at it, so Claude offers a response instead.]
I think he would tell you that my new fave is coffee cake. Have you tried it? Coffee was a rare luxury in Fódlan, but I promise it's good.
[He's glad to see Byleth relax again and act more like his usual, slightly (if unintentionally) silly self. It's the best way to feel better any more than any serious discussion could accomplish, in Claude's opinion.]
[Getting the response he wanted - and easing the conversation entirely from tumultuous waters - Byleth gathered Clauddles back up and set the deer plushie on his lap, its little hooves resting against the edge of the table to balance it upright.]
I haven't. In fact... I haven't tried coffee at all. Those I've spoken to said it's very bitter, though.
[Not that Byleth minded bitter foods, but when given the choice of something sweet or something bitter, he would veer towards the sweet every time - and there were many sweet cakes left unsampled on this cafe's menu.]
But if it's your favourite cake, then I'll try it. Let's order some and share it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
leicesters) wrote2022-12-06 08:26 pm
2/2
...in that example, the negative feeling serves no purpose, and in fact are dangerous to indulge in. Surely you've felt the same at some point?
no subject
[No dodging, no deflections, but no elaboration, either: just a simple answer of the truth. He tilts his head slightly and regards Byleth with a small smile, though, as if remembering something.]
Even so, I felt better not when I denied those feelings, but when I knew I had people I could rely on to ease those burdens. No one can do everything alone, no matter how strong you are.
no subject
...
[And... Claude was right, of course. Jeralt himself had even told him that no man was an island, no matter how much they may wish it, and in theory, Byleth agreed. Even a roaming mercenary had to rely on others from time to time - their clients to pay them, the shopkeepers to sell to them, their fellow mercenaries watching their backs in combat, even if their alliance was temporarily bought by coin. Byleth wasn't exempt from this. He relied on people to survive as well.
But applying that thinking to emotional vulnerability made Byleth want to curl up under the table with Clauddles. It was the same, yet not. Frustratingly, he had no words.]
I know. [He actually sounded tired when he murmured this.] I know that.
[...]
Claude. The truth is, I don't know what my feelings are. I don't know where to begin in... understanding them, and I won't ask you to teach me either. You have heavy enough burdens to carry.
no subject
[IT'S BASIC MATH... Sort of. Okay, it's invented math, but still.]
I cherish all the time we spend together. All you need to do is learn things little by little, at your own pace. There's no need to force anything, and I don't need to teach you a thing. All that you need to know is right there. [He points at him; more specifically, to his chest. Beating heart or not, he has faith he'll figure things out.]
no subject
...'squirmy', was the only word he could think of. Claude made him feel squirmy.
Yet, he was distracted from the sweet moment when Claude finished his kind speech by pointing at him. He obligingly looked down, identifying where Claude's finger was pointed towards and... blinked.]
...with Clauddles?
[The plushie was tall enough that its head was just shy of heart-level, an unintentional glancing shot of the metaphorical point Claude was trying to make.]
no subject
You know what, you're probably right. The Golden Deer is a very old guardian, so I bet he's very wise, too. Unfortunately, he's also on the quiet and cryptic side, as you may have already noticed, so you'll just have to decipher his secrets.
[Maybe that's what he gets for naming it after Claude...]
no subject
Still, what a nice laugh. Byleth wished he did it more often.]
I see. Unfortunately, I'm somewhat inexperienced in deciphering the cryptic silence of ancient guardians, so perhaps he'll share his wisdom if I ask nicely?
[With that, Byleth picked up Clauddles and sat the deer plushie on the edge of the table, gazing solemnly at it. Clauddles stared back with its wide, vacant eyes.]
Clauddles. [Yes. He's talking to the deer.] I have a very important question: what is Claude's favourite cake?
no subject
I think he would tell you that my new fave is coffee cake. Have you tried it? Coffee was a rare luxury in Fódlan, but I promise it's good.
[He's glad to see Byleth relax again and act more like his usual, slightly (if unintentionally) silly self. It's the best way to feel better any more than any serious discussion could accomplish, in Claude's opinion.]
no subject
I haven't. In fact... I haven't tried coffee at all. Those I've spoken to said it's very bitter, though.
[Not that Byleth minded bitter foods, but when given the choice of something sweet or something bitter, he would veer towards the sweet every time - and there were many sweet cakes left unsampled on this cafe's menu.]
But if it's your favourite cake, then I'll try it. Let's order some and share it.